Welp, here we are. December 31st of 2014. Crazy. What a year it has been! Big changes, not all expected, but it all works out, thanks be to God. I am currently sitting at a doctor's office waiting area. I'm here to follow up with my internal medicine doc about my thyroid. It's been 3 months since I changed meds. I'll get my blood drawn, too, and am hoping that it shows I need to go down in dosage. I have been noticing things that seem to indicate that. Which would mean that I'm doing better. I definitely have more energy than I used to. Not as much as I'd like, but more than I've had.
My current 'worry' in the middle of the night is that this is as good as my health will ever get and that I should at least be thankful for that much. This is something I constantly wrestle with. Am I not being content with the life I'm supposed to live if I am constantly striving for something better ? Or does my Creator want me to continue to strive and live with better health? I don't want to be a total nut case about healthy living, but if I can do something that makes me feel better, I want to do that. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but it's a mental battle I struggle with.
Although I have noticed an uptake in energy, I would like a little more mental clarity. Ha ! Not sure if this is just because I'm mental or if anything can be done. HAHAHAHA!! Seriously, though, I still have trouble remembering things and deal with brain fog some days. I also have days that I ache, and have wondered about the difference on climate change having moved from the desert.
Anyway, just some thoughts/reflections as I wait to see my doctor and get blood drawn. It's taking awhile today.....
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, December 4, 2014
continuing on
Well, here I go. It's been a little over two weeks since I finished my 21 day cleanse. Several things that I have noticed: I don't crave sweets the way I used to! This is a huge thing for me, and I'm so glad! I can eat just a little bit of something, and that satisfies my sweet tooth. I am determined to keep it this way. Another thing I've noticed is that my sleep is more productive for the most part. I sleep hard, and once up in the morning, I'm generally able to stay awake. Now I still have some tough days, but I've been dealing with a cold and travel. Also, I'm still at the beginning of this journey, so I won't be wonderful quite yet. I've lost several pounds and I've been able to keep them off, and can definitely tell that my energy level is continuing to rise. For these things, I am so thankful! I can't wait to see what 2015 holds for me and my health!
I've come to see how important the mental decision and determination is in order to get healthier and stay that way. I just went to the store today to buy ingredients for over 20 meals, and was able to spend under $200 for all of that. I'm pretty proud of myself! I realize it all comes down to planning, and the great thing is that most of these meals are pretty healthy. I want to not only get myself healthy, but set a standard for my kids to make better choices when putting things in their bodies. Not that we don't have treats now and then, but overall we are going to be healthier.
So basically my next step is to continue on with taking these supplements, getting into an exercise routine, continuing to drink a ton of water, and then in a little less than three months take a blood test and a hair analysis to see where all my levels are. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds! Thanks for all the encouraging notes and prayers. I covet them. They have helped me more than anyone can know.
I've come to see how important the mental decision and determination is in order to get healthier and stay that way. I just went to the store today to buy ingredients for over 20 meals, and was able to spend under $200 for all of that. I'm pretty proud of myself! I realize it all comes down to planning, and the great thing is that most of these meals are pretty healthy. I want to not only get myself healthy, but set a standard for my kids to make better choices when putting things in their bodies. Not that we don't have treats now and then, but overall we are going to be healthier.
So basically my next step is to continue on with taking these supplements, getting into an exercise routine, continuing to drink a ton of water, and then in a little less than three months take a blood test and a hair analysis to see where all my levels are. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds! Thanks for all the encouraging notes and prayers. I covet them. They have helped me more than anyone can know.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Not so simple and mundane
For those with invisible illnesses, some simple tasks can become monumental. What should be an ordinary, everyday task becomes painful and tiring. Which then brings the emotion. Disappointment. Frustration. Depression. Anxiety. Worry. Sadness. A wife wonders if she can truly be the partner her husband needs. A friend feels like she is failing all those who desire a relationship with her. A mom worries she won't be able to take care of her children the way she wants to, or that her children will always only see her as a weak and tired mom, not the fun-loving person that's trapped inside her body.
This morning I had a very hard time getting out of bed. I got to the shower & as I began to shampoo my hair, my arms felt so weak that I had a hard time washing my hair. This is something I have struggled with on & off for a few years now. I had to remind myself this morning that I am in the process of getting better. I hope and pray that in a few months time, I won't have the muscle weakness and fatigue that I do today. But it makes me think of all those who carry these types of secrets with them day in and day out. There are so many that have these hidden illnesses and are too afraid or ashamed or tired of hearing that there are no answers for what ails them. Or know that "it could be so much worse" & struggle to stay positive. I feel so strongly that I should start speaking out so that others find they are not alone. We can join together not to bring pity on us or to act as if we need attention, but just to be encouragers. Even through that, there is healing.
As I was strolling through Facebook earlier, I watched a video I have seen before of a mother and son dancing at his wedding. It started out all serene and nice as is expected at a wedding reception, but then they began dancing to a medley of fun music. The mom was awesome, and I couldn't help but think "Lord, I want to be like that when my boy gets married. I want to have the energy to do things 15 years from now that I can only do in a short bursts today". I want the energy to play with my kids in the backyard for longer than five minutes. I want the energy to take them on hikes. Or walk for hours around an amusement park. Do all sorts of things that they want me to do that sometimes I just have to say no, not right now. Mommy has a headache, or Mommy is feeling really bad, or I'm just so tired. Well, I'm tired of feeling like a disappointment. And now I have a nine-month-old. I want her to grow up with an energetic mom who can get tasks completed, who can do what needs to be done all day without anxiety, who can be fun, entertaining, and active for more than a few minutes at a time.
So I end today wrapped in the hope that I have found some answers. That within a few months I will see marked improvement in my energy level. That I will not ache as much, or have headaches, or be as weak as I have been. That I will exercise and feel energized instead of needing to take a nap.
And my prayer is that through this, I can help others on their journey.
This morning I had a very hard time getting out of bed. I got to the shower & as I began to shampoo my hair, my arms felt so weak that I had a hard time washing my hair. This is something I have struggled with on & off for a few years now. I had to remind myself this morning that I am in the process of getting better. I hope and pray that in a few months time, I won't have the muscle weakness and fatigue that I do today. But it makes me think of all those who carry these types of secrets with them day in and day out. There are so many that have these hidden illnesses and are too afraid or ashamed or tired of hearing that there are no answers for what ails them. Or know that "it could be so much worse" & struggle to stay positive. I feel so strongly that I should start speaking out so that others find they are not alone. We can join together not to bring pity on us or to act as if we need attention, but just to be encouragers. Even through that, there is healing.
As I was strolling through Facebook earlier, I watched a video I have seen before of a mother and son dancing at his wedding. It started out all serene and nice as is expected at a wedding reception, but then they began dancing to a medley of fun music. The mom was awesome, and I couldn't help but think "Lord, I want to be like that when my boy gets married. I want to have the energy to do things 15 years from now that I can only do in a short bursts today". I want the energy to play with my kids in the backyard for longer than five minutes. I want the energy to take them on hikes. Or walk for hours around an amusement park. Do all sorts of things that they want me to do that sometimes I just have to say no, not right now. Mommy has a headache, or Mommy is feeling really bad, or I'm just so tired. Well, I'm tired of feeling like a disappointment. And now I have a nine-month-old. I want her to grow up with an energetic mom who can get tasks completed, who can do what needs to be done all day without anxiety, who can be fun, entertaining, and active for more than a few minutes at a time.
So I end today wrapped in the hope that I have found some answers. That within a few months I will see marked improvement in my energy level. That I will not ache as much, or have headaches, or be as weak as I have been. That I will exercise and feel energized instead of needing to take a nap.
And my prayer is that through this, I can help others on their journey.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Mental discipline
I eat my emotions.
I'm bored; I want a salty snack.
I'm upset; I want something sweet.
I'm frustrated; gimme a snack.
I wonder what would have happened if I had been raised in a different home.
I think I deserve to eat something that isn't very healthy because I ate some healthy stuff earlier. Although I eat more of the unhealthy stuff than I should.
These are just some thoughts I had recently while working through a moment of really wanting more than fruits & veggies. And I'm back at that weakness the last 24 hours or so. I'm tired of doing this cleanse!! I only have 5 more days, but I am so hungry for some bread, some cereal, some potatoes, some things with flour.... Ugh.
I keep reminding myself of my whys for doing this. But it also hit me yesterday while feeling kinda down, that this is just the first step in a long process. I think I've kinda plateaued with my energy boost - my muscles still ache and I still have some fatigue. I had to remind myself that these 21 days were just to get rid of some toxicity, and then after this I will have to rebuild my mineral levels and such. That will take a little longer. But at least I can eat more. !!
I am already having to plan for the days after this cleanse, introducing foods slowly so that I can see if anything causes a reaction. Bluck. More discipline. I'm tired. Whine whine whine. Maybe I should have some wine. Hardy haR har. Oh wait, I can't. Not on the diet.
And it's cold. I want my sweet, creamy coffee. Whine whine some more.
Okay. I'm done for now.
Maybe.
I'm bored; I want a salty snack.
I'm upset; I want something sweet.
I'm frustrated; gimme a snack.
I wonder what would have happened if I had been raised in a different home.
I think I deserve to eat something that isn't very healthy because I ate some healthy stuff earlier. Although I eat more of the unhealthy stuff than I should.
These are just some thoughts I had recently while working through a moment of really wanting more than fruits & veggies. And I'm back at that weakness the last 24 hours or so. I'm tired of doing this cleanse!! I only have 5 more days, but I am so hungry for some bread, some cereal, some potatoes, some things with flour.... Ugh.
I keep reminding myself of my whys for doing this. But it also hit me yesterday while feeling kinda down, that this is just the first step in a long process. I think I've kinda plateaued with my energy boost - my muscles still ache and I still have some fatigue. I had to remind myself that these 21 days were just to get rid of some toxicity, and then after this I will have to rebuild my mineral levels and such. That will take a little longer. But at least I can eat more. !!
I am already having to plan for the days after this cleanse, introducing foods slowly so that I can see if anything causes a reaction. Bluck. More discipline. I'm tired. Whine whine whine. Maybe I should have some wine. Hardy haR har. Oh wait, I can't. Not on the diet.
And it's cold. I want my sweet, creamy coffee. Whine whine some more.
Okay. I'm done for now.
Maybe.
Friday, November 7, 2014
I am not a vegetarian.
The last several years I have learned things about myself. Some things I was glad to learn. Some things came out of struggle. Some things I had to eat a piece of humble pie while admitting them. But this past 9 days I have learned something that I am proud of and its out of a struggle: I am an omnivore. I like veggies. I like fruit. I like meat. I don't think I would be a super happy person if I ever HAD to be a vegetarian.
But I have also learned that I have more willpower than I thought I had. I have really pushed myself this past week. I've had to smell garlic breadsticks and not touch them. I've had to listen to people drink Dr Pepper and not partake. I've had to sit and watch others eat fried chicken and sip on my water instead. But I have done it. And I can still smile.
It's been overwhelming. It's been frustrating. I'm glad it has an end. My energy has increased to a degree, and I can tell there are some internal things going on, such as my temperature seems to be regulating a bit. For those who have intolerance to cold or hot flashes (of which I've stuggled with both, the heat being just because of pregnancy). Only time will tell exactly what all is happening inside, and that is what I cling to when I really want something else to eat besides fruit and veggies (& only certain ones of those).
I'm sharing about this journey & finally speaking about my personal struggles only because I have met so many women who are or have struggled with the same issues I have. Here's just a short list: fatigue, muscle and joint aches, dry skin & hair, diminished appetite with no weight loss, feeling cold most of the time, anxiety, some depression, brittle nails, problems with menstruation, brain fog, did I say fatigue? And on and on. Just the other night I saw that super dry feet may be a sign of thyroid issues. The thyroid is basically the regulator for every other system in the body, especially hormonal systems. I have been saying to myself and only a few others that I don't believe I should have to just live with these ailments like I've had some doctors tell me. There HAS to be something wrong internally that is causing these things to happen. Finally I have found someone in the medical field that believes that, too. I feel like I've become an advocate for this. So many people deal with this stuff and we don't take care of ourselves, usually because we don't know how & we can't get others to take us seriously. After all, I don't LOOK like I has any real health issues.... In my case, I would try, but I would get so tired of trying different things & nothing working. I now have 'evidence' that something IS going on internally and I now have tools to help myself. I also had to come to a point mentally that said, "Enough is enough. It's time to get serious about this, and keep searching until I find answers." It has been and probably will continue to be a long process. When it comes down to it, I am the only one that can change it. I can have help and support, but I have to be the one to drink more water, to eat better things that my body can process easier, to change some habits, to take the supplements I need, to seek out the right help & go to those appointments. So I'm in that process. Purifying out the toxins in order to rebuild the minerals and other essentials my body has exhausted.
And starting tomorrow, eating meat again. Hallelujah, pass me the cow.
But I have also learned that I have more willpower than I thought I had. I have really pushed myself this past week. I've had to smell garlic breadsticks and not touch them. I've had to listen to people drink Dr Pepper and not partake. I've had to sit and watch others eat fried chicken and sip on my water instead. But I have done it. And I can still smile.
It's been overwhelming. It's been frustrating. I'm glad it has an end. My energy has increased to a degree, and I can tell there are some internal things going on, such as my temperature seems to be regulating a bit. For those who have intolerance to cold or hot flashes (of which I've stuggled with both, the heat being just because of pregnancy). Only time will tell exactly what all is happening inside, and that is what I cling to when I really want something else to eat besides fruit and veggies (& only certain ones of those).
I'm sharing about this journey & finally speaking about my personal struggles only because I have met so many women who are or have struggled with the same issues I have. Here's just a short list: fatigue, muscle and joint aches, dry skin & hair, diminished appetite with no weight loss, feeling cold most of the time, anxiety, some depression, brittle nails, problems with menstruation, brain fog, did I say fatigue? And on and on. Just the other night I saw that super dry feet may be a sign of thyroid issues. The thyroid is basically the regulator for every other system in the body, especially hormonal systems. I have been saying to myself and only a few others that I don't believe I should have to just live with these ailments like I've had some doctors tell me. There HAS to be something wrong internally that is causing these things to happen. Finally I have found someone in the medical field that believes that, too. I feel like I've become an advocate for this. So many people deal with this stuff and we don't take care of ourselves, usually because we don't know how & we can't get others to take us seriously. After all, I don't LOOK like I has any real health issues.... In my case, I would try, but I would get so tired of trying different things & nothing working. I now have 'evidence' that something IS going on internally and I now have tools to help myself. I also had to come to a point mentally that said, "Enough is enough. It's time to get serious about this, and keep searching until I find answers." It has been and probably will continue to be a long process. When it comes down to it, I am the only one that can change it. I can have help and support, but I have to be the one to drink more water, to eat better things that my body can process easier, to change some habits, to take the supplements I need, to seek out the right help & go to those appointments. So I'm in that process. Purifying out the toxins in order to rebuild the minerals and other essentials my body has exhausted.
And starting tomorrow, eating meat again. Hallelujah, pass me the cow.
Monday, November 3, 2014
I want chocolate
Today has been a tough mental day. The last few days I have had some severe muscle pain, and today my right hip has hurt awfully. (This has been an ongoing thing for a few years now.) I realized this morning that some of the pain may be because I have not been taking my Vitamin D that I was supposed to be taking. I take so many pills because of the supplements that I just didn't want to take anymore. So I started that up again this afternoon. We shall see if it helps. I'm trying not to burn all the new energy I'm having (it's not a lot, but it's more than I've had in awhile). This evening though, I really wanted to cook and was able to make tonight's meal plus get one ready for tomorrow. But my hip just started having shooting pain and I had to use ice and now heat the get any relief.
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Yesterday we went out to eat for lunch and I had a great salad, but oh, the bread on the table looked so delicious. Today even the trash smelled good at one point. I kept thinking, you know you're on a cleanse when even the trash smells good....
I just want chocolate. And bread. And something other than just water to drink. (We all know that means Dr Pepper.)
So I'm feeling a bit whiney. Besides the energy and the little weight loss, I'm not seeing any big results quite yet. Which shows my impatience, since it's only day 6. But the pain today has made me come a little unglued. I've been dealing with (& hiding) my almost constant pain for years now that I have a hard time even figuring out when it really started. I dealt with fatigue in high school. It's just gotten more constant and severe over the last 8 years, really getting bad the last 4/5. I like to chant to myself that there is always always something to be thankful for. I know that there is always someone who has it worse. Things could be so much worse. I have so much to be grateful for , and I cling to those in desperate times. Those times in the middle of the night, or when soaking in a hot bath, or driving by myself. Those are the times when I can get overwhelmed and depressed with this achiness and fatigue and feeling of being a failure. My biggest fear about doing this cleanse and the things I will be doing afterward is that it won't change anything. That I will always feel this way. That I can never feel normal or have enough energy or lack of pain. But then I dare to hope. To capture those negative thoughts and remember Who is in control.
So that's where I am tonight. You got the raw edition.
Now hang on to a piece of chocolate for me. I have 15 more days....
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Yesterday we went out to eat for lunch and I had a great salad, but oh, the bread on the table looked so delicious. Today even the trash smelled good at one point. I kept thinking, you know you're on a cleanse when even the trash smells good....
I just want chocolate. And bread. And something other than just water to drink. (We all know that means Dr Pepper.)
So I'm feeling a bit whiney. Besides the energy and the little weight loss, I'm not seeing any big results quite yet. Which shows my impatience, since it's only day 6. But the pain today has made me come a little unglued. I've been dealing with (& hiding) my almost constant pain for years now that I have a hard time even figuring out when it really started. I dealt with fatigue in high school. It's just gotten more constant and severe over the last 8 years, really getting bad the last 4/5. I like to chant to myself that there is always always something to be thankful for. I know that there is always someone who has it worse. Things could be so much worse. I have so much to be grateful for , and I cling to those in desperate times. Those times in the middle of the night, or when soaking in a hot bath, or driving by myself. Those are the times when I can get overwhelmed and depressed with this achiness and fatigue and feeling of being a failure. My biggest fear about doing this cleanse and the things I will be doing afterward is that it won't change anything. That I will always feel this way. That I can never feel normal or have enough energy or lack of pain. But then I dare to hope. To capture those negative thoughts and remember Who is in control.
So that's where I am tonight. You got the raw edition.
Now hang on to a piece of chocolate for me. I have 15 more days....
Thursday, October 30, 2014
getting healthy
Yesterday I started a purification cleanse. There are so many reasons I am doing this, but it all comes down to me getting healthy. Many people would wonder why I need to get healthy. From the outside, I look healthy, I act healthy..... but I'm not. I've shared before that I have Hashimoto's Thyroid Disease. Most of what I've been dealing with for about 9 years (if not longer) seems to be because of this disease, but how can we know for sure... Over the last 9 years, since my son was born, I have seen several doctors. I was happy that one found the Hashimoto's, but then the care just didn't deliver what was promised. I went to another endocrinologist who was promising, but then left town. The last one I had been seeing just kept my levels 'normal', and never seemed to really care that at practically every visit I complained of muscle and joint ache, fatigue, and anxiety or depression. This is apparently too common of an issue regarding the patient/doctor relationship when it comes to a lot of 'silent' illnesses. I was excited that I would be moving to this area where more doctors were available. I had already decided that i was going to be searching for a new doctor, so this just made it super convenient. :)
Since moving here, I have found a fabulous chiropractor and an internal medicine doctor. Both are listening to me. Both believe that just checking blood levels is not enough. Both want to help me feel better. Both believe that it is unacceptable for me to continue to survive when I want to THRIVE.
Soooo, long story short (I will share more as this process continues), my chiropractor told me about a hair analysis she uses to check mineral levels and how all of those work with each other. The hair can actually tell more of what is going on in your body over months versus blood that tells what is going on recently - our blood is constantly getting 'cleaned', whereas hair grows out and has data from weeks upon weeks.... I was actually happy with the results because it shows that all of my mineral levels are down! I know, that doesn't sound like happy news, but I was so glad to hear that I AM NOT LOSING MY MIND. There IS a reason I feel terrible so often! There IS a reason that I feel like I have hardly any energy! And on and on and so forth....
My doc said I was one of the most exhausted cases she's seen, and well as having the highest toxicity. (I'm so special, I told her.)
So here's the deal-i-o. I am currently doing a 21 day cleanse (I've been wanting to do one before, but didn't want to just do something I'd read on the internet because I was afraid I'd hurt myself!) that basically consists of eating only fruits and vegetables for 10 days (with some spices/seasonings) and then adding small amounts of lean meats for the remaining 11 days. Throughout the whole time I will take supplements. Today I am thinking about Dr. Pepper a lot!! Some of you know how I feel about this life juice we call Dr. Pepper. It is a huge love of mine. It tastes so good and bubbly and just has that .... Oi, I must stop talking about it. Then after that I will begin to rebuild my mineral levels with healthier eating, exercise, and supplements. After 90 days we will do another hair analysis to see how things are going. I have also changed what type of thyroid medicine I am on, and can tell a difference.
So far it's not going tooooo badly, but I am hungry. Plus I had caught a cold, so I can't really tell if I'm having any side effects what with an already yucky head and the usual body aches. I kind of feel like I'm trying to 'catch' an illness, but again..... the cold, etc..... I will admit that I've had a few woe-is-me times, especially yesterday. The first day. Not a great sign, but I'll hang in there. I am finally mentally ready to take the drastic-ish measures I have to in order to get healthy. I want to have more energy! I want to be able to plan things and not worry about how I may wake up feeling that day. I want to run around outside with my kids and not feel like my legs are gonna disintegrate 5 minutes (if that long) later. I want to keep my house clean and not sit on the couch looking at a mess because I can not physically make myself lift anything beyond my body. I want to be surprised at how great I feel one day and know that this hard work is worth it.
I am trying new things, and will be making my family try them, too. ha!! But they still get to eat other good things, too. I made some kale chips yesterday. Let me just say that all the people on Pinterest who said that those things are so tasty and they never want potato chips again are LIARS. Sorry, we shouldn't call people liars, I know. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I'm hungry. Leave me alone. Those kale chips are toasted weeds. Yuck. I was a good girl and choked down several, but nope. I threw the rest away today after I had put them in a ziplock yesterday pretending that I would try again. No thanks. No bueno. Not gonna eat 'em.
I have pinned (Pinterest word) several yummy looking recipes for clean eating veggies. And I'm looking forward to finding new nutritious dishes to make. But they will probably taste even better next to a big juicy grilled ribeye....
with an ice cold Dr. Pepper.
and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Since moving here, I have found a fabulous chiropractor and an internal medicine doctor. Both are listening to me. Both believe that just checking blood levels is not enough. Both want to help me feel better. Both believe that it is unacceptable for me to continue to survive when I want to THRIVE.
Soooo, long story short (I will share more as this process continues), my chiropractor told me about a hair analysis she uses to check mineral levels and how all of those work with each other. The hair can actually tell more of what is going on in your body over months versus blood that tells what is going on recently - our blood is constantly getting 'cleaned', whereas hair grows out and has data from weeks upon weeks.... I was actually happy with the results because it shows that all of my mineral levels are down! I know, that doesn't sound like happy news, but I was so glad to hear that I AM NOT LOSING MY MIND. There IS a reason I feel terrible so often! There IS a reason that I feel like I have hardly any energy! And on and on and so forth....
My doc said I was one of the most exhausted cases she's seen, and well as having the highest toxicity. (I'm so special, I told her.)
So here's the deal-i-o. I am currently doing a 21 day cleanse (I've been wanting to do one before, but didn't want to just do something I'd read on the internet because I was afraid I'd hurt myself!) that basically consists of eating only fruits and vegetables for 10 days (with some spices/seasonings) and then adding small amounts of lean meats for the remaining 11 days. Throughout the whole time I will take supplements. Today I am thinking about Dr. Pepper a lot!! Some of you know how I feel about this life juice we call Dr. Pepper. It is a huge love of mine. It tastes so good and bubbly and just has that .... Oi, I must stop talking about it. Then after that I will begin to rebuild my mineral levels with healthier eating, exercise, and supplements. After 90 days we will do another hair analysis to see how things are going. I have also changed what type of thyroid medicine I am on, and can tell a difference.
So far it's not going tooooo badly, but I am hungry. Plus I had caught a cold, so I can't really tell if I'm having any side effects what with an already yucky head and the usual body aches. I kind of feel like I'm trying to 'catch' an illness, but again..... the cold, etc..... I will admit that I've had a few woe-is-me times, especially yesterday. The first day. Not a great sign, but I'll hang in there. I am finally mentally ready to take the drastic-ish measures I have to in order to get healthy. I want to have more energy! I want to be able to plan things and not worry about how I may wake up feeling that day. I want to run around outside with my kids and not feel like my legs are gonna disintegrate 5 minutes (if that long) later. I want to keep my house clean and not sit on the couch looking at a mess because I can not physically make myself lift anything beyond my body. I want to be surprised at how great I feel one day and know that this hard work is worth it.
I am trying new things, and will be making my family try them, too. ha!! But they still get to eat other good things, too. I made some kale chips yesterday. Let me just say that all the people on Pinterest who said that those things are so tasty and they never want potato chips again are LIARS. Sorry, we shouldn't call people liars, I know. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I'm hungry. Leave me alone. Those kale chips are toasted weeds. Yuck. I was a good girl and choked down several, but nope. I threw the rest away today after I had put them in a ziplock yesterday pretending that I would try again. No thanks. No bueno. Not gonna eat 'em.
I have pinned (Pinterest word) several yummy looking recipes for clean eating veggies. And I'm looking forward to finding new nutritious dishes to make. But they will probably taste even better next to a big juicy grilled ribeye....
with an ice cold Dr. Pepper.
and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
just another typical day
Wow. It's been a long time, blogspot. 2 years and 4 months to be a little more exact. a LOT has happened, which I'm glad to say, because if not a lot had happened in over 2 years, I'd be depressed, I think. I've had lots of thoughts over this time, thinking, I really need to blog on that, usually occurring at night. Alas, I never get to the computer. Guess I should start using one of the voice memos on my phone….
Anyhoo….. this morning has just been one of those mornings. Malcolm is out of town for a little over 24 hours, and I wake up 40 minutes later than I wanted to. I had reset my alarm on my phone last night, and somehow turned it off. Fab. Then as my son goes into the huge pantry area our rental has, he hollers out. I had put the dogs' cages in there because otherwise they keep me up. This girl needs her rest. One of the dogs had pooped in 3 different spots. Lovely. He was trying to be nice and not poop IN his cage, so the poo was spread through the wire caging. and it was the sicky smelling kind. That yours truly had to clean up. On hands and knees with clorox wipes. While gagging. Fun. (by the way, I just got up to let said dog back in and rammed my toe into the desk chair on the way back. Smooth.) Then I rushed the 4th grader to his school, realizing that the gas light was on. Called the 6th grader on the way home to tell her to put it in gear so we could leave a few minutes earlier for her school in order to get gas on the way. I get home and plug the steam mop in so I could quickly steam the clorox-wiped linoleum and get that added chore out of the way. (Who am I kidding? That chore needed done 2 days ago anyway…) The steam mop whirs and whirs, attempting to get hot enough to produce steam. Which it never did. Yes, I put water in; I checked twice and even added more. Still not working. Joy. So another swipe with clorox wipes and then also the Swiffer dust mop (did I mention I needed to do that anyway?) albeit AFTER I had had to take a break and take the 6th grader to school. The 6 month old fell asleep on the way back home, thanks to the oldest who helped her cover her face with a blankey. Back home now and still haven't eaten. I had a few thoughts while shredding cheese to eat a plate of nachos… Don't judge. Yes, I'm gonna eat nachos for brunch at 10 in the morning. It's homemade salsa and I heard many moons ago, Kemosabe, that salsa increases your metabolism. I'll be counting the calories, anyway. Let me live.
We've moved to a new place. (I shall not recount my whole last 2 ⅓ years…) There are so many emotions/thoughts/feelings that go along with a move. AND not to mention having had a bonus (but much wanted) baby almost 7 months ago. At age 37. Life has definitely changed. And it's exciting. Today marks the 4th day of school for the kids. As thrilled and thankful as I am that they are loving their new schools, it's hard for me to drop them off and realize that I do not really know one adult at the building. Every year of their schooling so far has either been at a school that I teach at or at a school where Malcolm & I volunteer and make it a point to learn who everyone is and form relationships. I know that that can be the case here, but it takes time. I'm still trying to get into some semblance of a routine, and it's totally different with an infant. I truly am happy, it's just still feeling like we're getting settled. Aaaaand that would be because we are….
Back to my thoughts that led me to sit down and type versus melt my cheese….
I was thinking in the midst of all the chaos that was this morning, when am I going to settle into some kind of routine and what will that look like? I haven't been able to have any quiet time, exercise time, or just reading time since school started like I thought I would. I had the thought, I would like a normal day here soon. Then it hit me. What if this IS normal for me? I mean, seriously. Do I ever really have a day where everything goes extremely smooth, I don't have to remind a child to brush teeth/get on shoes/make your bed (like that hardly ever gets done)/get your lunch….., some accident occurs from a body part of said children or baby or dog that I don't have to end up cleaning, dishes are magically clean and put away, there is no laundry to be done, tasty lunch and dinner appears on the stovetop or in the oven, nothing needs picked up at a store because I forgot it when I went there earlier, an appointment doesn't have to be attended because we are perfect, I have gotten devotions read, I've exercised and can tell I've lost 3 pounds in 30 minutes and am already tone-er, there is no dust or dirt anywhere to be wiped or swept, I am clean and smell delicious and my teeth are white and I have perfect hair and makeup without having done anything? (by the way, if the above describes your life, please do not tell me. I'm not even sure we could be friends.) THIS is my life. Happening RIGHT NOW. THIS is a typical day (especially when Malcolm is out of town)! And this typical day is a day made to rejoice that I have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart children who seem to love me even when I haven't showered or brushed my teeth yet. To rejoice that my husband is out making money on a totally God-dropped-in-our-laps side job to provide for our needs and lots of our wants. To rejoice that we found a nice house to rent that is comfortable (even though the spiders like it, too) and truly has enough space for all of people and dogs (although the spiders kind of crowd us). To rejoice that my pantry and fridge is full. To rejoice that I have the ability to smell, even though dog poo is disgusting. To rejoice that i have the money to fill my tank when it's empty. To rejoice that I have the ability to walk to let my dog in and the ability to feel when I stub my toe. To rejoice that I know how to make an awesome salsa to eat with my brunch nachos…..
THIS is my typical day. And I am embracing it. Maybe every once in awhile, though, I wouldn't mind having an absolutely crazy day….. :)
Anyhoo….. this morning has just been one of those mornings. Malcolm is out of town for a little over 24 hours, and I wake up 40 minutes later than I wanted to. I had reset my alarm on my phone last night, and somehow turned it off. Fab. Then as my son goes into the huge pantry area our rental has, he hollers out. I had put the dogs' cages in there because otherwise they keep me up. This girl needs her rest. One of the dogs had pooped in 3 different spots. Lovely. He was trying to be nice and not poop IN his cage, so the poo was spread through the wire caging. and it was the sicky smelling kind. That yours truly had to clean up. On hands and knees with clorox wipes. While gagging. Fun. (by the way, I just got up to let said dog back in and rammed my toe into the desk chair on the way back. Smooth.) Then I rushed the 4th grader to his school, realizing that the gas light was on. Called the 6th grader on the way home to tell her to put it in gear so we could leave a few minutes earlier for her school in order to get gas on the way. I get home and plug the steam mop in so I could quickly steam the clorox-wiped linoleum and get that added chore out of the way. (Who am I kidding? That chore needed done 2 days ago anyway…) The steam mop whirs and whirs, attempting to get hot enough to produce steam. Which it never did. Yes, I put water in; I checked twice and even added more. Still not working. Joy. So another swipe with clorox wipes and then also the Swiffer dust mop (did I mention I needed to do that anyway?) albeit AFTER I had had to take a break and take the 6th grader to school. The 6 month old fell asleep on the way back home, thanks to the oldest who helped her cover her face with a blankey. Back home now and still haven't eaten. I had a few thoughts while shredding cheese to eat a plate of nachos… Don't judge. Yes, I'm gonna eat nachos for brunch at 10 in the morning. It's homemade salsa and I heard many moons ago, Kemosabe, that salsa increases your metabolism. I'll be counting the calories, anyway. Let me live.
We've moved to a new place. (I shall not recount my whole last 2 ⅓ years…) There are so many emotions/thoughts/feelings that go along with a move. AND not to mention having had a bonus (but much wanted) baby almost 7 months ago. At age 37. Life has definitely changed. And it's exciting. Today marks the 4th day of school for the kids. As thrilled and thankful as I am that they are loving their new schools, it's hard for me to drop them off and realize that I do not really know one adult at the building. Every year of their schooling so far has either been at a school that I teach at or at a school where Malcolm & I volunteer and make it a point to learn who everyone is and form relationships. I know that that can be the case here, but it takes time. I'm still trying to get into some semblance of a routine, and it's totally different with an infant. I truly am happy, it's just still feeling like we're getting settled. Aaaaand that would be because we are….
Back to my thoughts that led me to sit down and type versus melt my cheese….
I was thinking in the midst of all the chaos that was this morning, when am I going to settle into some kind of routine and what will that look like? I haven't been able to have any quiet time, exercise time, or just reading time since school started like I thought I would. I had the thought, I would like a normal day here soon. Then it hit me. What if this IS normal for me? I mean, seriously. Do I ever really have a day where everything goes extremely smooth, I don't have to remind a child to brush teeth/get on shoes/make your bed (like that hardly ever gets done)/get your lunch….., some accident occurs from a body part of said children or baby or dog that I don't have to end up cleaning, dishes are magically clean and put away, there is no laundry to be done, tasty lunch and dinner appears on the stovetop or in the oven, nothing needs picked up at a store because I forgot it when I went there earlier, an appointment doesn't have to be attended because we are perfect, I have gotten devotions read, I've exercised and can tell I've lost 3 pounds in 30 minutes and am already tone-er, there is no dust or dirt anywhere to be wiped or swept, I am clean and smell delicious and my teeth are white and I have perfect hair and makeup without having done anything? (by the way, if the above describes your life, please do not tell me. I'm not even sure we could be friends.) THIS is my life. Happening RIGHT NOW. THIS is a typical day (especially when Malcolm is out of town)! And this typical day is a day made to rejoice that I have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart children who seem to love me even when I haven't showered or brushed my teeth yet. To rejoice that my husband is out making money on a totally God-dropped-in-our-laps side job to provide for our needs and lots of our wants. To rejoice that we found a nice house to rent that is comfortable (even though the spiders like it, too) and truly has enough space for all of people and dogs (although the spiders kind of crowd us). To rejoice that my pantry and fridge is full. To rejoice that I have the ability to smell, even though dog poo is disgusting. To rejoice that i have the money to fill my tank when it's empty. To rejoice that I have the ability to walk to let my dog in and the ability to feel when I stub my toe. To rejoice that I know how to make an awesome salsa to eat with my brunch nachos…..
THIS is my typical day. And I am embracing it. Maybe every once in awhile, though, I wouldn't mind having an absolutely crazy day….. :)
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