Something has been brewing. I've been learning some new things and have been asked to step into a new 'role'. Honestly, the farther I enter, the more I feel that it is just the natural next step for me. I just didn't know it was coming.
A few months ago, I reached out to my chiropractor's office in regards to a part time job position being advertised. Our family has been a part of this 'village' for 9 years now, and I've always thought it would be a fun place to work. The advertised position had already been filled, but my chiropractor set up a time to chat about something else she was thinking about that she thought I might be interested in. After several discussions and much prayer, I have decided to jump in with both feet. I will be learning how to run a new technology at the office and guide people into optimizing their health through earning a Holistic Health Coach certification. !! As I have been researching and discussing and seeking and working to thrive in my own personal health journey (physical but also emotional, mental, and spiritual) for the last 18 years, this seems to continue my searching but in a more focused setting. AND now I get to walk alongside others and help them search for ways to thrive in their own journeys. This just fits! And yet there is so much I still have to learn.
Many emotions have surfaced since being offered this opportunity. Doubt of my ability to learn and process and fulfill. Fear of failure. Worry about not doing the 'right' thing or being the 'right' person for this role. Leaving the teaching field was a tough choice. There was much that went into the decision, but I struggled for years with what that meant about and for me. I had dreamed of being a teacher since I was little. It was the right decision for me to leave, though. I just haven't found any job that held as much meaning for me outside of my volunteer work. But that just feels like who I am instead of what I do. This new adventure feels like a bit of both! So I am also feeling much excitement! Feelings of honor, gratitude, pride.... It's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, especially after the Lord humbled me recently to let me know I still needed to work on some specific thoughts (that's for another blog post).
This role and job are in the dreaming stage. It may stay there for quite some time as we see what all I will/can/should do for clients as they come to see me. Dreams can be funny things. They can be warnings. They can be visions. They can prepare or distract. They can uplift or tear down. If I'm honest with myself, I've been dreaming for awhile. I've been trying to figure out some of my purpose. I know pieces, and am confident in those areas, but I kept feeling like something was lacking the last several years. I had no idea what that might be. But something kept nagging at me that I couldn't identify or name. I am feeling that I may have found the edges of that which is greater than me, that which has been waiting in the wings, that which has been preparing me for the correct time. And so I step. Into the Unknown.
And of course, my mind goes to music and lyrics that coordinate with my circumstances. Disney made yet more songs that resonate with me; Frozen 2 had fantastic music, and two songs hit me in a certain way, even back when we saw it in the theater:
(Into the Unknown)
I can hear you, but I won't / some look for trouble while others don't / there's a thousand reasons I should go about my day / and ignore your whispers which I wish would go away, oh.....
I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls / I've had my adventure, I don't need something new / I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you
into the unknown...
what do you want? / 'cause you've been keeping me awake / are you here to distract me so I make a big mistake?
or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? / who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?
every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow / don't you know there's a part of me that longs to go
into the unknown
~And I believe the Unknown is turning into the hopeful thoughts of the lyrics to this next song, that I admit literally shook me when I first heard it, awakening a longing in me to step deeper into who I was created to be....
(Show Yourself)
every inch of me is trembling but not from the cold / something is familiar / like a dream I can reach but not quite hold / I can sense you there / like a friend I've always known / I'm arriving / and it feels like I am home
I have always been a fortress / cold secrets deep inside / you have secrets, too, but you don't have to hide
show yourself / I'm dying to meet you / show yourself / it's your turn / are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? / show yourself / I'm ready to learn
I've never felt so certain / all my life I've been torn / but I'm here for a reason / could it be the reason I was born? / I have always been so different / normal rules did not apply / is this the day? / are you the way / I finally find out why?
show yourself / I'm no longer trembling / here I am / I've come so far / you are the answer I've waited for all of my life / oh, show yourself / let me see who you are
come to me now / open your door / don't make me wait / one moment more
....I am found!
show yourself / step into your power / throw yourself / into something new
you are the one you've been waiting for all of your life / oh, show yourself
~~~~~
I am so glad that the truth of life is that we are on a journey, with curves and turns and alternate routes and bumps and smooth lanes. And that there is a time and a place for certain stops and starts and adventures along the way, some of them expected and some of them a surprise.
This is the next piece of my journey. There's a lot of Unknown about it, but here I go!
