a piece of a journey

 The mask has fallen.

 I am here, naked, unsure

 Deep down, who am I

weak
burdened
ashamed
spent
tired, so tired
struggling
striving
missing the mark, time and again

 I cover my face, too afraid to look
 He is
stunning
shining
pure
warm
peaceful
accepting
inviting
life-giving
forgiving

And He's holding out His hand to me.

 I have nothing to give Him but
my brokenness
my anger
my doubt
my confusion
my frustration
my anxiety
my disease

He comes closer.
And I want what He has to give.
Want it desperately.
I reach towards Him but shrink back.
If I touch Him, I will defile Him.
Maybe I can touch His feet, the hem of His garment.
Just a touch.

I reach out.

the scales drop
the weight is lifted
the emptiness is filled
the anxiety is stilled
darkness changed to light
fear change to courage

I am alive.

Even when I struggle, I am victorious.
Even when I feel lonely, I am loved.
Even when I am overwhelmed, I have peace.
Even when I feel sad, I have joy.
Even when I know I can't do this on my own, He gives me strength.

I refuse to pick the mask back up.
I feel more true without it.
I don't need it anymore.
I need to be alive.

The mask has fallen.