good wins out

Last Friday we took most of our 6th graders to Lubbock to visit the Science Spectrum. We had a great time. We had set up criteria the students were to meet in order to go on the trip. We've been working on it all year. By the time the trip happened, we had almost 30 kids not go. Some of them were because parents weren't allowing them to go, but most of them were because they had not met the criteria. The kids that went were the ones that had worked hard, met the criteria, and deserved to go. It was great! They highly enjoyed themselves, and we enjoyed them! Monday morning as the four teachers sat sipping coffee in the lounge, we said that we realized that the good kids finally won. Some of these students have been together since Kinder and have always been trouble. Those of you that teach know that this is some weird phenomenon that occurs; some years it seems like the whole group is just off. But we were so thankful that we had decided to do the trip regardless of how many had to stay behind, because those that earned the trip really deserved it. and throughout the trip we heard the kids talking about it and how the ones left behind should have just obeyed and turned in work and followed the criteria. It was wonderful watching the students 'get it' that we cared and wanted to recognize those students who worked hard. There has even been a change since we've been back. They know they've 'won', whether they realize that's what they know or not. I can almost say that seeing that reward on their faces at the end of the day was worth some of the battles. It felt good to pump up kids that have had to battle the negativity all year.
Yeah!! Being good is GREAT!! :)

not enough pay

Today I am battling the feeling of "It's not worth it". I am so sick of argumentative, apathetic, disrespectful, ingrateful kids that need a good swift kick in the butt and a huge dose of reality. Where are the parents??? And do they care??? I know some of them don't!! Do they realize what terrible citizens they are cultivating? And what about the public educational system? 'No Child Left Behind'????? We ARE leaving children behind when we allow them to continue in their current behavior, not only hurting their opportunity to learn, but also distracting others'! Why can't we train some former marines in education (many of them are already) and develop a boot camp of sorts where kids go when they've already been suspended, retained, put in alternative school, and their behavior continues on??? Can't we do something for these kids before we see another Columbine?? I'm so sick of it!! There are so many good kids that have been taught to be respectful and want to learn. We're doing these kids an injustice as well when we're constantly having to watch our back and look for bad behavior. And then they get a tiny slap on the wrist, because administration's hands are apparantly tied. It's just ridiculous.
And today is not the day for me to discuss it. Now that I've vomitted....

slight obsession

I want a new house. So badly. What's worse is that I know what I want and we are close to getting it. Relatively. We are planning on building a new house. And we've seen the floor plan we want. We've been in it. I love it!!!!!!!! (http://betenbough.com/find_your_home/plans.aspx?Plan=Mirella&Region=Odessa) Although I know when we finally get in it (hopefully before Christmas), I'll feel like it's unreal that it's ours. I feel like a dream is about to come true. It excites me, but I have lots to do before we move in. We have to do a few upkeep things to our house, sell it, move out, and probably have to live somewhere temporarily before we close on the new one. There's so much to do within that little sentence!! I want to have a yard sale, and have debated on whether or not to do it before we list the house or after we sell. I think I'm going to do it before. And there will be things we'll want to sell even after we sell. I'd like to sell the couch, recliner, table and chairs, hutch and buffet, not to mention several small things. The small things I can sell before. The large things will have to stay in order for the house to be somewhat 'staged'. I figure I could always have 2 yard sales. I realize that once I start packing, there will be things I'll find that I wouldn't mind getting rid of. I'm so ready to do this; I find myself thinking about it quite often throughout the day!!!!!!! Here I am at school, and we're in the computer lab. My students are working on some Social Studies projects, so I have a little time on my hands. ARGHHHHH!! I'm in the mood to pack some things away and sort out yard sale stuff. And yet I'm here at school; by the time I get home I doubt I'll still feel like sorting. My house feels cramped and messy - and even when we clean things up, I know that there's clutter somewhere because we've had to move things around and into another room in order to have the front looking clean. I'm ready to create my master suite/sanctuary. Ah, to have my own bathroom in my bedroom. I can hardly wait!! And to have a kitchen that has more than 8 cabinets!! And to have a pantry!! Heaven for me!!!! :) Oh, and a garage!! What delight!! And closets that are walk-in!! and a closet in the front and near the main bathroom!! And a covered patio out back! Oh, I'm so ready!! I'm hoping to get some things ready on the house and have it listed before June is over. Then it's a matter of risk-taking -- do we go ahead and order our new house, or wait until we close? So many choices. I'd rather be making the ordering choices -- what color and type of carpet, tile, cabinets, counter tops, brick, plus any additional features. Then we can purchase some new things after we close and move in: refrigerator, dining table and chairs, living room furniture, bedroom suit, etc., etc., etc.
I'm slightly obsessed. I'm just so ready to see this particular dream become a reality. Poor Malcolm would be sick and tired of my rantings if he heard more than what he already has to put up with. That's why I'm blogging this today. I needed to purge a little.

Choices

Here I am in the last days of school. What a crazy year this has been!! And yesterday was horrible. Did a kid do something awful? Nothing above the norm. But their teacher.... she just had an atitude malfunction. Whew. I should have stayed in bed. But, not an option was that. Therefore, I came to school. And I feel myself just doing the same old, same old. We have a certain schedule we have to manage. I have to do all the routine responsibilities that come with managing a classroom (beyond the actual teaching), and I find myself just being routine. Check off breakfast, read silently, see who isn't here, take them to their fine arts class, drink some coffee, laugh with the gals, take care of some business, go potty, pick them up, keep them busy until lunch, eat my lunch, go potty, pick them up, keep them busy until orchestra and junior vips, take them over to another classroom so I can do dismissal duty. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I find myself counting down the days until it's done. This is perfectly normal and okay, except for my attitude. That's the part that stinks. And it's all my responsibility. It's all my choice. I can either let things bring me down, or I can choose to deal with them head on and them move to the next thing. I can either get bored with what I'm doing, or I can choose to actually enjoy the enjoyable kids while they're in my room. Instead of saying that there are only 2 Mondays and 16 days of school to go, I can choose to say that I have 16 more days to leave a positive impact on my students and teach them some more new concepts. It's really up to me and my choices. Can I go on in the same old routine? Sure. That's my choice. I also believe that that's the easy way out. It's easy to gripe. It's easy to look at the blaring negatives. It's easy to 'woe is me' and feel horrible so I can brag about how bad I have it. This comes easily for me, and I have to fight it. It does no good for me and my personal health, or for my family and friends who have to absorb some of it. So I choose. I don't want the same old, same old. I love to have a good time and enjoy where I'm at and what I'm doing. I look forward to a good laugh and like to think about exciting times yet to be experienced. I choose to change my attitude. I even have a poster in the front of my classroom that I pass hundreds of times a day: Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. I need to choose to take that in instead of just reading it when I pass.
This morning on the way to work, I heard this song again, and didn't really think about all of the lyrics. It's been playing in my mind ever since, though. So while I had a little break, I decided to look the lyrics up online. They are, of course, very pertinent to my epiphany about choice today.

This might hurt
it's not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

(The Motions, Matthew West)