Ever realize how much is communicated through 'arm language'? And, as an extension, 'hand language'? Malcolm & I were watching a movie recently where, as a couple pretending to be a 'couple' were walking through a party, the man gently placed his hand and forearm on the small of the lady's back. For me, this is a intimate gesture. He was guiding her, making of statement of 'she's with me', protecting her as they walked through the crowd. My initial thought was warm & fuzzy. I then recalled a different movie seen years ago where the same image was portrayed, but we learn that the man in that story was extremely controlling, possessive, abusive. Same gesture, different emotions. Both powerful for the women on the receiving end.
a hand raised to give a high five versus a hand raised to slap a face
arms outstretched in praise versus arms outstretched in exasperation
hands covering a face of happy surprise versus hands covering a face full of grief
a caress versus a punch
Many more can be named. Many images come to mind. All personal, as past experience plays across our minds & dictate our initial emotional response. What kind of power have arms displayed to you? What kind of power have your arms displayed?
Just as the words we speak convey different meanings depending on our tone of voice, so actions of arms have multiple meanings. I must think about what I'm wanting to 'say' through my arm/hand movements. What kind of power do I want to display? What kind of emotion do I want to evoke to the receiver?
May the words of my mouth, the meditations of my heart, AND THE MOVEMENT OF MY ARMS, be pleasing to my Rock and my Redeemer. May they encourage and not belittle. May they guide and not control. May they include and not possess. May they protect and not abuse. Same gestures, different emotions. Both powerful for the ones on the receiving end.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
stubborn toe
On the first Saturday of my Christmas Break in December, I quickly got up to look at something Malcolm wanted me to see. I had something in my hand, and in my haste to answer my husband's call (ha ha), I ran into our big ottoman, wrapping my right pinky toe around the corner of it. I am happy and proud to report that I actually didn't cuss, but I did cry out and shed a few tears. I really wanted to cuss AND puke...
Now, I've stubbed toes before. They hurt, and then in a day or two you don't notice it anymore. This, however, was a doozie of a hit. A friend told me I must have torn the ligament, because we could tell it wasn't broken. I ended up having to wrap it to the other toes and only wear flip flops for several days (glad I live in Texas...). This stinkin' injury hurt for weeks!!! I can still actually feel it when I'm all the way up on my toes, especially after a day of walking around. There were several pairs of shoes that I couldn't wear until February. It still is a little uncomfortable to stretch my toes all the way out on that foot. This crazy injury just keeps hanging around, rearing it's ugly little self just when I think I've healed completely. Yesterday, I was noticing it yet again while stretching up for something, and that's when it hit me, right across the noggin.... A truth about my own life....
You see, for the past few weeks I've been struggling with (well, really internally - & a little externally - whining about) how undisciplined I am. Now, I haven't admitted that I'm undisciplined until very recently (and through many prideful tears). I've been complaining or feeling bad about my weight & lack of exercise I want to do, my health, my lack of personal prayer time, not seeing certain people like I'd like to, not blah blah blah, not not not, yada yada yada. (I don't want to make you sick...) Only the past few days have I bucked up and admitted it's all tied to discipline. I want to lose 10 pounds? Eat smaller portions & take in more fruit. Get my butt off the couch and take a walk, do Pilates, get that P90 DVD back out. I long for focused, still prayer time? Find a time and make everyone leave you alone. I need to make time to see or speak to certain people? Pick up the blasted phone, get over your phone phobia, and talk! I feel like I need a little of this therapy that Bob Newhart's character gives in this video... (but... I'm not giving anyone permission to say this to me **cough Malcolm cough**)
http://youtu.be/BYLMTvxOaeE
But instead of "STOP IT!!!", I need to tell myself, "START IT!! GET BACK ON IT!! GET WITH IT!!"
I keep thinking, when school's done, I'll..... WHY?? Why am I waiting until then? There are 51 days of school left (not that I'm counting...). I don't want to wait. I want these things NOW.
I very much disliked having to wear only certain types of shoes while my toe hurt for any pressure to be on it. But I had to take care of it and do what I needed to do in order for it to heal. The truth is: I may stub that same toe again. Next time I may even break it. You think I'd learn to be careful and pay attention to where I am placing my foot, wouldn't you? But.... life happens. There are cycles, ups and downs, successes and failures. Sometimes things even jump right in front of you when you are being your upmost careful. I have to suck it up and realize that the same it true for 'issues' that I want to be better in/at. Every now and again, we have to take a moment (or most times in my case several days, weeks, or months) to refocus, reprioritize, rethink, and do what it takes to heal something that has been stretched, torn, or even broken.
God help me.
I'm so thankful He will.
Now, I've stubbed toes before. They hurt, and then in a day or two you don't notice it anymore. This, however, was a doozie of a hit. A friend told me I must have torn the ligament, because we could tell it wasn't broken. I ended up having to wrap it to the other toes and only wear flip flops for several days (glad I live in Texas...). This stinkin' injury hurt for weeks!!! I can still actually feel it when I'm all the way up on my toes, especially after a day of walking around. There were several pairs of shoes that I couldn't wear until February. It still is a little uncomfortable to stretch my toes all the way out on that foot. This crazy injury just keeps hanging around, rearing it's ugly little self just when I think I've healed completely. Yesterday, I was noticing it yet again while stretching up for something, and that's when it hit me, right across the noggin.... A truth about my own life....
You see, for the past few weeks I've been struggling with (well, really internally - & a little externally - whining about) how undisciplined I am. Now, I haven't admitted that I'm undisciplined until very recently (and through many prideful tears). I've been complaining or feeling bad about my weight & lack of exercise I want to do, my health, my lack of personal prayer time, not seeing certain people like I'd like to, not blah blah blah, not not not, yada yada yada. (I don't want to make you sick...) Only the past few days have I bucked up and admitted it's all tied to discipline. I want to lose 10 pounds? Eat smaller portions & take in more fruit. Get my butt off the couch and take a walk, do Pilates, get that P90 DVD back out. I long for focused, still prayer time? Find a time and make everyone leave you alone. I need to make time to see or speak to certain people? Pick up the blasted phone, get over your phone phobia, and talk! I feel like I need a little of this therapy that Bob Newhart's character gives in this video... (but... I'm not giving anyone permission to say this to me **cough Malcolm cough**)
http://youtu.be/BYLMTvxOaeE
But instead of "STOP IT!!!", I need to tell myself, "START IT!! GET BACK ON IT!! GET WITH IT!!"
I keep thinking, when school's done, I'll..... WHY?? Why am I waiting until then? There are 51 days of school left (not that I'm counting...). I don't want to wait. I want these things NOW.
I very much disliked having to wear only certain types of shoes while my toe hurt for any pressure to be on it. But I had to take care of it and do what I needed to do in order for it to heal. The truth is: I may stub that same toe again. Next time I may even break it. You think I'd learn to be careful and pay attention to where I am placing my foot, wouldn't you? But.... life happens. There are cycles, ups and downs, successes and failures. Sometimes things even jump right in front of you when you are being your upmost careful. I have to suck it up and realize that the same it true for 'issues' that I want to be better in/at. Every now and again, we have to take a moment (or most times in my case several days, weeks, or months) to refocus, reprioritize, rethink, and do what it takes to heal something that has been stretched, torn, or even broken.
God help me.
I'm so thankful He will.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
End of the year, a few weeks late...
Well, here it is, January 17th, and I realize that I set a word goal last year and didn't talk about how it went at the end of 2011. (Can you believe it's really 2012?? I told Malcolm the other day that it still seems like the milennium should be a new thing, and yet it's 12 years in...)
So a year ago, I picked a word for the year: listen. Wow! I knew that that was going to 'take me places', but I didn't know it would include a trip to the other side of the globe!! I have definitely learned quite a bit about myself through that one word. Here are 2 that stick out to me as I'm thinking about this past year today:
1. When I listen to myself, deep down, I don't always like what I hear. It's so easy for me to be negative. The funny thing about that, is that most people that know me 'casually', don't really know that about me. (at least, I don't think they do...) I can think REALLY negative thoughts. I can get down very easily. I just don't always show it. I hide it, as much as my face and body language will allow. Once my face or body is speaking it, I'm already pretty far down. Only those that know me well or are just perceptive people can tell when I'm thinking negatively. I hear myself think a lot of "what ifs" and "I doubts" and "I don't wannas" and "this doesn't matters" and it goes on and down from there. So did I do anything about this?? Why yes, I did. I read The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. It had some really good, slap-in-the-face, wake-up stuff for me. I also believe this will be a life-long struggle for me, and I know that there are some key things I have to do to stay on top of negative thoughts - read my Bible and other books that deal with the subject; protect myself with personal boundaries from negativity; keep Philippians 4:8 in my heart, thinking on things that are pure, right, true, noble, praiseworthy, and excellent.
2. When I stop to listen before I speak, I keep myself from being a butt. That's the only way I can think to put it right now. And I have in no way perfected this. This is dealing in all of my relationships, from my husband and kids to my students and coworkers. I can keep myself out of a lot of trouble when I just think before I speak. I try to listen to words, tone of voice, body language... I've seen and felt a much greater insight especially with my children. When I focus on really listening to what they're trying to tell me, even in the midst of a tantrum, I feel like a better parent who is the discipler and guide that I'm created to be. I feel closer to them as well. I'm taking the time and effort to listen and observe others who I respect. If I see something in a person that I would like to emulate, I've taken the time to not just watch but listen.
There are many other things I've learned and am still gaining insight about myself. I'm so thankful that the word 'listen' became my word for last year, and that it didn't end on December 31st. This will be a life goal of constantly and continually becoming a better listener.
So a year ago, I picked a word for the year: listen. Wow! I knew that that was going to 'take me places', but I didn't know it would include a trip to the other side of the globe!! I have definitely learned quite a bit about myself through that one word. Here are 2 that stick out to me as I'm thinking about this past year today:
1. When I listen to myself, deep down, I don't always like what I hear. It's so easy for me to be negative. The funny thing about that, is that most people that know me 'casually', don't really know that about me. (at least, I don't think they do...) I can think REALLY negative thoughts. I can get down very easily. I just don't always show it. I hide it, as much as my face and body language will allow. Once my face or body is speaking it, I'm already pretty far down. Only those that know me well or are just perceptive people can tell when I'm thinking negatively. I hear myself think a lot of "what ifs" and "I doubts" and "I don't wannas" and "this doesn't matters" and it goes on and down from there. So did I do anything about this?? Why yes, I did. I read The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. It had some really good, slap-in-the-face, wake-up stuff for me. I also believe this will be a life-long struggle for me, and I know that there are some key things I have to do to stay on top of negative thoughts - read my Bible and other books that deal with the subject; protect myself with personal boundaries from negativity; keep Philippians 4:8 in my heart, thinking on things that are pure, right, true, noble, praiseworthy, and excellent.
2. When I stop to listen before I speak, I keep myself from being a butt. That's the only way I can think to put it right now. And I have in no way perfected this. This is dealing in all of my relationships, from my husband and kids to my students and coworkers. I can keep myself out of a lot of trouble when I just think before I speak. I try to listen to words, tone of voice, body language... I've seen and felt a much greater insight especially with my children. When I focus on really listening to what they're trying to tell me, even in the midst of a tantrum, I feel like a better parent who is the discipler and guide that I'm created to be. I feel closer to them as well. I'm taking the time and effort to listen and observe others who I respect. If I see something in a person that I would like to emulate, I've taken the time to not just watch but listen.
There are many other things I've learned and am still gaining insight about myself. I'm so thankful that the word 'listen' became my word for last year, and that it didn't end on December 31st. This will be a life goal of constantly and continually becoming a better listener.
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