End of the year, a few weeks late...

Well, here it is, January 17th, and I realize that I set a word goal last year and didn't talk about how it went at the end of 2011. (Can you believe it's really 2012?? I told Malcolm the other day that it still seems like the milennium should be a new thing, and yet it's 12 years in...)
So a year ago, I picked a word for the year: listen. Wow! I knew that that was going to 'take me places', but I didn't know it would include a trip to the other side of the globe!! I have definitely learned quite a bit about myself through that one word. Here are 2 that stick out to me as I'm thinking about this past year today:
1. When I listen to myself, deep down, I don't always like what I hear. It's so easy for me to be negative. The funny thing about that, is that most people that know me 'casually', don't really know that about me. (at least, I don't think they do...) I can think REALLY negative thoughts. I can get down very easily. I just don't always show it. I hide it, as much as my face and body language will allow. Once my face or body is speaking it, I'm already pretty far down. Only those that know me well or are just perceptive people can tell when I'm thinking negatively. I hear myself think a lot of "what ifs" and "I doubts" and "I don't wannas" and "this doesn't matters" and it goes on and down from there. So did I do anything about this?? Why yes, I did. I read The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. It had some really good, slap-in-the-face, wake-up stuff for me. I also believe this will be a life-long struggle for me, and I know that there are some key things I have to do to stay on top of negative thoughts - read my Bible and other books that deal with the subject; protect myself with personal boundaries from negativity; keep Philippians 4:8 in my heart, thinking on things that are pure, right, true, noble, praiseworthy, and excellent.
2. When I stop to listen before I speak, I keep myself from being a butt. That's the only way I can think to put it right now. And I have in no way perfected this. This is dealing in all of my relationships, from my husband and kids to my students and coworkers. I can keep myself out of a lot of trouble when I just think before I speak. I try to listen to words, tone of voice, body language... I've seen and felt a much greater insight especially with my children. When I focus on really listening to what they're trying to tell me, even in the midst of a tantrum, I feel like a better parent who is the discipler and guide that I'm created to be. I feel closer to them as well. I'm taking the time and effort to listen and observe others who I respect. If I see something in a person that I would like to emulate, I've taken the time to not just watch but listen.
There are many other things I've learned and am still gaining insight about myself. I'm so thankful that the word 'listen' became my word for last year, and that it didn't end on December 31st. This will be a life goal of constantly and continually becoming a better listener.